My week with a gift from God

I've been made aware that I might have seemed a bit obnoxious with the multitude of pictures of my new niece. I know it might seem like I'm crazy, or that I might have baby fever, but that would be wrong. The truth is that I love my family, and spending the past week with my them was incredible. The story of my brother and sister is amazing, and one of the many reasons why I love sweet Austyn so much. I love my brother and sister so much, and only because of that I can love their daughter at all. They are an inspiration to me, and I hope they know that. Here is a little way I am choosing to share their incredible story with you...

I love you Dustin & Emily, and I cannot wait til December to see you two and that amazing gift from God that I'm proud to call my niece.

A Daily Reminder

A few days ago was the anniversary of the day I lost the best friend I ever thought I could have. It was difficult to get through the day, but as of December 31st of 2011 I will always have an image burned into my brain, and inked in my skin of what my sweet Andy will forever be to me. To many it might sound like heresy, and to some it might seem insane. Regardless of what other people think, I know that the truest example of the character of my Jesus that I will ever see came from the most stoic and loving dog that I was blessed to call mine for 13 years.

I was moved to write this after listening to the message shared at Watermark this morning ( Watermark Media ), and because of the drive and emotion that pour from my soul because of my love for my dog and my Jesus.

a cancer ribbon that forms an  "A"
around the cross of my Savior
depicting the love He showed for me

All of my life I have been in church. At an early age I became a Christian. I have gone to church, followed most of the rules, and generally thought I was a good person, whatever that is supposed to be. I knew what God had done for me, and I believed that He loved me. I knew it all, believed most of what I heard in the church, and was convicted when I did something I knew wasn't right. Nothing radical, nothing that would completely set me apart, and just the generic Christian. After graduating from Baylor, I began to lose hope.

I will not bore you with too many details, but life was difficult. Many nights of tears, heartbreak, and despair brought me to a place where I basically gave up on almost everything. I had nothing I thought I was entitled to, and no matter how hard I worked, things did not get better. They only got worse. After much trouble with employment, back and forth on whether or not I could afford my bills on my own, the one I called "the love of my life" started to get sick. It started out slow, but progressed into the most horrible heart-breaking disease I have ever seen. While I sought out any other answer, cancer ate away at my best friend. For months, I tried everything and looked into every other possibility. Pouring my heart, soul, and bank account into trying to make him better. He was my everything, and I was losing him. As pain wrecked his body, he never once let it affect his outpouring of love for me, but rather loved me all the more. He was there for ME, and wanted me to feel better. When the stress of everything would break me, it was not God that I ran to, but my Andy. He would stay with me, and do everything he was capable of to try to make me feel better. His love for me had no conditions, and all I could see were problems. I was not the person God called me to be, and I was falling away. I had no hope, no joy, and was losing faith. Two weeks after tests confirmed my worst fears, cancer took my best friend from me, and my world started to crumble.

Shortly after, I lost my job, and ended up having to move back to Dallas after six years in Waco. With a heavy heart and seemingly nothing left to give, I left my what I knew and went back to a place that I no longer felt at home. I had long begun to resent my situation, and what I had been going through. I felt like I didn't matter to this great God that I had always heard about. I thought I knew Him, and that I was just to follow the rules, but honestly I didn't care anymore. However, I knew deep down that if I didn't make some friends and get connected somewhere that I would spiral into the darkness. I figured if I found a church, that I could fade into the background and be satisfied. Little did I know what God had in store for me...

After some online research and a few streamed sermons, I thought I knew what I was getting into by going to try this place called Watermark. God put some incredible people in that place, and the church in that building is the most welcoming group of people I have ever known. I immediately felt loved and accepted as myself, all of my issues included. God began to do incredible things, and I truly began to understand the depth of His love. One morning while in service, Jesus showed me how no matter how much Andy loved me, and how much pain he endured while trying to make me feel better. No matter how much I thought Andy was my world, that Jesus alone was more. This rocked my world. Suddenly God's love for me made complete sense, and I had a new perspective on the cross. HE loved ME. All of my problems, issues, and the things I had done, and HE loved me... no matter what.

I have a new best friend. Death has no power over my Jesus. (John 11: 44, Luke 24:6) There is nothing that can keep me from Him. To Him I run in trouble, and no sickness will take Him away from me. Through Him I can accomplish anything in His name, and though bad times may come, I have joy in Christ. The grave could not hold Him, and my God alone will have victory over death.

 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. - Deuteronomy 31:6




Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. 
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters, 
  he refreshes my soul. 
He guides me along the right paths 
 for his name’s sake. 
Even though I walk
 through the darkest valley, 
I will fear no evil, 
for You are with me; 
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; 
my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord  forever.