I know I know, yet again.....this is my place to spill and that I shall....

So why is it that it seemsthat the people that tried ruining one thing in your life somehow end up ruining something else as well? I didn't do anything and yet this chik is all over spreading stuff about me and taking all my guy friends from me. First it was the whole homecoming gig and now it's another good friend of mine. Why do people have to be so rude? Well I'm not going to go into details so I'm out before I say to much.

So yet again something on my mind, what a surprise rite? Ok not really seeing as I'm one of those people that constantly thinks and over things until they are so insanely screwed up in my head that even if I tried to sort them back out it would come out like a jigsaw puzzle that was put in a blender, Yes, I know I’m strange but just deal ok? Ok, now on with my rambling on about my blenderized thoughts...

I got this one thought going through my head about how I'm never going to find the right guy...well I know I will if it is God's plan and I know that I just need to have patience and blah blah blah. Well I can do that but do you know what I really want? I want what I used to have. The best guy friend in the entire world. Better than any other a girl could have. One where it doesn't matter that you just came form your boyfriend's house and you are holding hands with him. One that you can cuddle with and just hold and there are no worries about oh maybe he likes me or vise versa. I miss being able to just call and talk to him for hours upon end about nothing in particular and laugh about everything and anything just because you know the person so well you can almost tell what they are thinking and it just makes you love them so much more. I miss the fact that when something happened neither one of us ever hesitated to pick up the phone right away and call the other without even thinking 'hmm I need to tell them'. I miss just being able to go over there and it not be weird. I miss the warmth of his arms around me and just the feeling I got when he was around. I miss being able to tell him anything and everything and him soaking it all in and not getting bored hearing about all of my crazy drama. I miss the times he would spend the night and when my parents would go to bed he would sit in the hallway and talk so that he wasn't breaking the rules but yet we could stay up and talk half the night. I miss how we could stare into each other's eyes and get lost inside. I miss the friendship I once had. The one that at some point all went bad. I miss the love I have now lost. I would try to get back at all cost, if only I had faith in me, and the future I could better see.



Ok it kind of ended up like a poem but not quite but thats my blabber for today....and yes I haven't taken my zoloft for a couple days so my posts have been a bit down but well thats me so whatever. I just took it a few minutes ago though so it's all good. I will be going now and shall try to update soon. G'day!

I'm back for yet more ranting and I really don't care if you don't like it because it's not for you to decide what I write on here...it's my decision so if ya don't like it don't read it...
Anyway, why is it that society relies so heavily on medications? Is it just me or is it just pathetic? I man I myself take certain prescriptions on a daily basis or almost and well just think....what happened when people didn’t have depression medicine or allergy medicine or what not. I mean they lived they were happy they survived. No big deal yet in today’s world everyone must be upbeat and peppy and oh so cheery all the time. Well ya know what some times people have bad days, and there's not a thing you can do about it. They'll get over it and you will to. Ok just had to say that

Now um let's see only one more day and one more semester until I have no more high school left whatsoever. Weird. I have a lot of things going through my head and well I can't even explain it all. I just wana get it all out. I wana go outa town by myself and just work stuff out in my head for a few days. I just want to get away form everything going on and everybody. No offense to anyone I just wants some time alone to relax and sort myself out. I just wana get it all off my mind. Anyway.... I’m out just wanted to say that.

F:

Your Beauty lies
in Contradiction. Controversial, unpredictable, and
never what anyone expects.
You appearance and your personality are two
opposite things. Even your
appearance sends different signals to different
people. To some you may look
innocent and sweet, to others you look mysterious
and intimidating at the same
time. No one ever knows what to expect with you.
You are a little bit of
everything all mixed together. You can be watching
the football game with the
guys one minute and the next out shopping at the
mall. You seem to be almost a
different person every time you meet someone, but
at the same time you know
exactly who you are and there is always that one
thing that makes you you. You
enjoy keeping people guessing and people love how
completely unpredictable you
are.

Some Things
That Represent You:

Element:
Fire, Water Animal: Chameleon Color:
Dark Tones, Light
Tones Song: Everything by Alanis Morriesette
Expression:
Half-smile

Gemstone:
Opal Mythological Creature: Gryphon,
Half-breeds Planet: Mars Hair
Color: Red Eye Color:
Brown

Quote:
"Appearances can be deceiving."

Where Does Your Beauty Lie? ..::Original Pictures Are Back! Detailed Results::..
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So time for my rant that I have wanted to get out but didn’t want to bore one person so I shall more multiple instead. Not really I just don't want to get all up in someone's face and yea. But anyway...

So why is it that people can't just say something when it is on their mind and you know they are thinking it? I mean you can tell that they are hiding something by the way they are acting whether it be stiff or nervous or what not. I mean especially when it has to do with rejection or something of the sort. I mean people say that they don't want to whatever because they don't want to hurt you but I mean do they not know that they are hurting you as they speak? I mean I know I know they think that it might be worse later on or if whatever happens but still. I mean you can't go through life without taking risks. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying that it should be all about that but really, if risks are not taken then you don't get to experience some of the greatest things in life. But no people refuse to take the risks or even tell you that they don't want to take it and ugh.... to put it bluntly people have no self-assurance or courage. Sometimes yes things might hurt but they need to be said rather than just ignored. I mean things happen and sometimes you might wish that they didn't but you can't deny that they did. Because OBVIOUSLY they did and did so for a reason that you or anyone involved might not know. The thing is people might have something to say like 'I like you' or 'I don't like you like that sorry' or what not and to ever say it because it can cause pain, but hear this people...'LIFE IS PAIN'. I mean I know not all of the time but that's what happened when we turned our back on God. We brought pain and suffering into the world by committing sin. I mean it's crappy but it's our fault. You can't escape the pain in life. It's going to happen. You will cause pain and experience it. It is inevitable. DEAL WITH IT! Get over the fact that you might have to hurt someone. Say what needs to be said and get it over with. Don't hide behind the fact you might hurt them...Ya know what? WAAAHHH...Get over it and just say it all ready. It just makes it all worse when you (and please excuse my bluntness) don't have the balls to say what needs to be said. I'm sick of people not having the guts to do what obviously needs to be done. Sometimes you have to be blunt and not sugarcoat things. Stop it! Stop being all nice and trying to make a putdown sound like a compliment. It's not and never will be. So don't try to make it seem as such.

I'm through for now because now I'm just kind of angry....might be back later if not tomorrow

You are Sir Bedevere! Wise and creative, you are
able to counsel others as well as come up with
some really ingenious plans of attack...sort
of.


Which Monty Python & the Holy Grail Character are you REALLY?
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Hey everyone. I'm back after awhile of lesser or even none blogging...I know probably not real terms but whatever. I have been really busy and if not that who knows what the deal was. Life is going along quite well I should say. I want to rant about something but I'll leave that for later. I have two more exams till the break and that makes me happy. I don't even have to go to school tomorrow. That is pretty sweet in my opinion. Friday I take the last two and then one more semester until I am out of high school forever. That is so weird to say but hey it works for me. Work is going well as well as most relationships and just life in general so I can't complain. I'm going to head out for now though and maybe have some more for you guys later. Happy Holidays!