So yet again something on my mind, what a surprise rite? Ok not really seeing as I'm one of those people that constantly thinks and over things until they are so insanely screwed up in my head that even if I tried to sort them back out it would come out like a jigsaw puzzle that was put in a blender, Yes, I know I’m strange but just deal ok? Ok, now on with my rambling on about my blenderized thoughts...

I got this one thought going through my head about how I'm never going to find the right guy...well I know I will if it is God's plan and I know that I just need to have patience and blah blah blah. Well I can do that but do you know what I really want? I want what I used to have. The best guy friend in the entire world. Better than any other a girl could have. One where it doesn't matter that you just came form your boyfriend's house and you are holding hands with him. One that you can cuddle with and just hold and there are no worries about oh maybe he likes me or vise versa. I miss being able to just call and talk to him for hours upon end about nothing in particular and laugh about everything and anything just because you know the person so well you can almost tell what they are thinking and it just makes you love them so much more. I miss the fact that when something happened neither one of us ever hesitated to pick up the phone right away and call the other without even thinking 'hmm I need to tell them'. I miss just being able to go over there and it not be weird. I miss the warmth of his arms around me and just the feeling I got when he was around. I miss being able to tell him anything and everything and him soaking it all in and not getting bored hearing about all of my crazy drama. I miss the times he would spend the night and when my parents would go to bed he would sit in the hallway and talk so that he wasn't breaking the rules but yet we could stay up and talk half the night. I miss how we could stare into each other's eyes and get lost inside. I miss the friendship I once had. The one that at some point all went bad. I miss the love I have now lost. I would try to get back at all cost, if only I had faith in me, and the future I could better see.



Ok it kind of ended up like a poem but not quite but thats my blabber for today....and yes I haven't taken my zoloft for a couple days so my posts have been a bit down but well thats me so whatever. I just took it a few minutes ago though so it's all good. I will be going now and shall try to update soon. G'day!