well it is the end of the week and i am exhausted but great....

i'm at my mandas eatin sum chinese & havin sum fun....post more l8r......

Wow this week has been crazy yet awesome. Some days were better than other and some blew some out of the water. I had a great weekend although I'm dead from it all now. I shall explain...

First of all I had a good day Friday and then went from school to Chikfila to drop off shibby (serena). Then I went to a what I have been calling job interview. I got it!!! Sorry I'm a bit excited about it. It is the best job ever. I will be taking care of two of the most adorable kids ever for about 2 and a half hours a day. You want to know how much? Ten bucks an hr plus gas money to take the little girl to dance classes. Then I don't even work on Fridays. It should be great.

We had the welcome to the youth group retreat Friday night for all the incoming 7th graders and i;m what we call a big sister so i went. I met my little sister, Courtney Samson, who is lemme tell ya awesome. We had a lot of fun which included a flour fight which cool and just yea. We stayed up till 530 and then woke up at 10. Craziness i tell you craziness!

Then sat. night i was supposed to go to hang out with someone but they never called so I chilled with Shibby. She ended up spending the night and we went to church for the promotion sunday thing. I am in my daddy's ss class now. Then lunch at spring creek which was awesome & then home for a min. just to leave again to go to the mall where I got a new hoodie. It's green! :) Then church and SNAC afterwards which was cool. I'm soo tired now but I think it was worth it.

I will leave you with this though. NEVER share a full size bed with two other people.....BIG mistake!

small pst for now.....school is goin great so far....Seniors!!!

School starts tomarrow. I'm kind of excited. I must be going though so I can get enough sleep. I am getting up at 4:30 after all. I love going to church! :) If you want to know what the stink I am talking about ask. G'nite all & G'luck with school. 05!!!

I can't sleep and I decided to make a post randomly. I don't know what it will be about but I have a lot going through my head at the moment I don't know if I could even type it all out before it jumps right back out.

My mind has been racing lately and not about anything in particular but just everything in general. I am kind of in awe of it. I just keep thinking about everything from school starting to friendships to who knows what else. I just will be sitting there and doing generally nothing and my mind will start thinking and probing the deepest thoughts of my mind. Like...

"Will I ever truly make the difference I pray to?"

or

"How can I be a senior in high school already, I'm not what it takes."

or

"Why is it that it seems that when I finally make a real connection with someone
[I don't want to say their name.], they check out of my life."

I just, I don't know if it is just the mood I am in right now, being tired or what but I just feel so out there. I feel as if I can't concentrate. And if I do, it is about something that if I keep thinking about it that it can in some way depress me. I do not know what is going on or what to think. I'm lost in my own head no matter how crazy that sounds. I feel as if I am right now. Crazy that is.

I hope I'm not scaring anyone who might be reading this but I do not try to hide myself. I tell it like I feel it. Whoever is happening to read this just pray for me because this is maybe the second or third night this has happened and it gets worse every night and I just pray that I can move on so that I can sleep soundly in preparation for school and what not.

It could just be a teenager thing but I don't know. I do know though that I have my senior year of high school coming up and to be truly honest I am scared. People, from what I know, go into their senior year with all this confidence in what they are going to do or who they are or what have you and I am over here and I just want to do God's will for my life and I don't know what that is. I am one of those people that likes to know where they are going, but I have no clue. I know I just need to keep Him first and that He will always be there for me, but I just know that there are things that I will be going back to and it is going to be some of the hardest times in my life because of all the things I have done in the past and what I will be tempted with. I have changed over the summer and by no means want to go back to where I was. It terrifies me just to think that I could end up there again. I don't want to even think about it. I just pray just God will give me the strength I need to make it through and to hear what He wants me to do when it comes to college and my future.

I ask of you, my friends, that you pray for me and others who might be going through these things:

• Life and its temptations might bring that it will not keep us down.
• Those who are in doubt of what their future might be when it comes to planning college.
• Those who will be going back to school changed and new and that they will be strong in the Lord our God.
• And lastly, that all who know Him shine His light that all my see His glory.

These are my thoughts and prayers. My dreams are that you may take them and change the world with what you may do with them. I am not my own. I am God's, and He has spoken through me.

I was informed lately by the lovely Megan Campbell that I have lied to you, my devoted readers. LOL ok yes, I did say something that I didn't quite keep to but I am going to try to fix that right now and for the next few days. I said in one of my past posts that I was going to say something to all of my friends, a long task I know but it is worth it in my eyes. First though I must say yet another thing about my gorgeous Manda...
Manda, yesterday was amazing! Thank you so much for going with me. I had so much fun & it was one of the best days of my summer. You and me are two crazy chiks and it is even worse when we are together. You have the greatest attitude and I love being around you. I don't think I have laughed that much in a long time. We were all over the place and we made it count. We accomplished our goal. lol No matter how strange we were acting. We talked to our adorable Joseph and you met Daniel and saw how dramatic and great he is. I love that we can just be hanging out in a parking lot and have fun. I don't know what it is about the time that we spend but it just gets better and better. Thanks for everything yesterday and I will pay you back the ten bucks. Love you!
Now for Marta, wow what a long list of things I could say. A lot of the things that I could mention for her are our insiders. Those will live on forever and will always make me laugh. We just act stupid most of the time and have a great time doing it. There are times though when we get really serious and the conversations are deep and meaningful. Those times I truly know that I am blessed with her friendship. I love the things we talk about and how we can talk about almost anything and have debates and yet still go away not hating each other for having totally different opinions. Her friendship has meant a lot to me over the years through insight she has, to the fun she brings, or the spiritual guidance she gives to me. She is a amazing person and I'm so happy that she has 'perfect lil David' to be there for her and love her. He makes her feel like she is worth what she really is unlike so many people cannot do. I love you Marta and thank you for everything.
Next going to have to be the greatest guy ever...None other than the only Brian Dean. He is the just wow. He has always sat and listened to all my spills about my life and how much of a drama queen I am. He always helps me out and encourages me. Every time I see him I can't help but smile because he is just that awesome of a person. He is loved by everyone and I appreciate his friendship more than I can say. He encourages me when I am down and makes me laugh when I feel like there's nothing to be happy about. He gives me hope that life will be ok. I have known him since forever and a year ago and thank God for every moment I have. Thank you for just being there Brian and I just hope that somehow someday I can repay you for all you have done.
Amy! My gorgeous friend that I love so much. Aww what can I say about you. You make me laugh so hard that I am in pain. I have so much fun with you and you make me forget all my problems and worries. We just have fun and I could never thank you enough for that. You have an amazing joy and gift of just loving and encouraging people and I just hope that by spending time with you that you can rub off on me and I can be as you are. You inspire me to look at the positive side and just to keep praying and everything will be great. You helped bring me out of things that I shouldn't have been into in the first place. I can't thank you enough and Love you with all my heart.
That is all for today, but I shall be back.

I've been meaning to put this on here for awhile but just now found the time/will to actually do it. It is a list that I put together with the help of a few friends on some of things that just make you have what some people might call the warm fuzzies......fyi not in any order

1. (if you are a girl) shaving your legs
2. Cleaning your ears
3. Drinking coffee
4. Getting an extra chicken nugget
5. (if you are a girl) getting new underwear
6. Seeing your best friend
7. Falling asleep by the fire
8. Cuddling with your favorite blanket..even better if it's with your best guy/chik friend
9. Good hair days
10. Driving with the windows down and radio up
11. (if you are a girl) putting on lipgloss
12. Sleeping on clean sheets
13. Burning incense
14. Wearing your favorite outfit
15. Remembering a friend by their smell (as in cologne or perfume)

well let me know wut makes u just feel good...just leave a comment

Yes I'm back and in one day you should be proud...Well i just was watching CMT (country music television for some of you) and i realized something and really started thinking about it. I just hope it inspires you as much it did me.
Well ok, I know all of you have seen at least one music video in your lifetime and if not don't feel bad you aren't missing much. Anyways I was watching a video and saw how much passion the man sang with and just sat and thought and wished that when I sang to my Heavenly Father that I had all the more passion. I mean, He is worth it is He not? It just made me fell like we don't give God the credit we should. And I've realized this before, but this time it was different. I know that the 'Baptist' way of things is that you stand when the song says or sit or whatever. But do you kneel on your knees when the song says? Do you really cry out when it says? I only ask this to you because when I asked myself I was hit by it. I just know that I don't and I wish I did. If only I had the guts to dance when I felt it, or kneel, or cry out even. I just saw the passion in the man singing about things not of God and as Christians we have all the more reason to have passion in everything we do. That includes during worship. I just challenge you as I did myself to not just worship as everyone does because that's what is expected. But I heard a great comment by the assistant dean at Super Summer that I was reminded of..."God does not go by tradition, we do." And in saying that He explained to us that God doesn't care if you go by tradition. He would love it if you danced and raised your hands and cried out to Him. I'm not saying you have to but don't feel as if you have to conform. This is what being the salt of the earth is all about. It is so that we can stand out and separate ourselves from others. Even though it might be from other Christians, it is still setting an example for others to follow and just because you step out of your comfort zone to worship Him as you always have wanted, might just mean that someone will be inspired by you & therefore you have been used by God to teach someone something truly meaningful.

That is my spill for today. I hope it does as much for you as it did for me.

hey everyone, I have a question/rant to share with ya'll for today. Ok, I know sarcasm is big and popular right now but I mean even though I do it I never really thought I actually hurt anyone by it. I never really thought about it until today when someone really close to me said something that hit me really hard. I have been trying to not be so sarcastic and make fun of people as of late but I still do and to those I have I'm truly sorry. I love you and never meant to hurt you. I just never really thougth about it. Well I'm out I just had to get that out for now. God bless all!

Wow, what a day! Guess what I finally got.....a NASH JERSEY!!! Yes it is unbelievable but it happened. I love it soo much. And yes even though he has moved to Phoenix with out me I'm ok.....I will survive As long as I know how to loveI know I'll be alive. I've got all my life to live. I've got all my love to give. I will survive. I will survive....I'm done with the random song and dance for the moment. But yes Nash will continue to be my Nashy and my favorite bball player.
 
   On a more serious note, I got myself a devotional book and I'm excited to say that I used it for the first time today and it was awesome. Before I just tried reading the Bible and it is awesome but I just need something to help me out ya know? Well I love it and am hopefully going to be showing God more and more each day through spending time with Him in my quiet times. He is just incredable isn't He? I think so.
 
    Well I'm off to church and then maybe out or something. Love you guys and God bless!

i love cows! they r the coolest! 

Wow, I can't explain the feeling I have right now. It is just amazing. I know I keep using  those words lately, but I have good reason to especially when talking of Super Summer.
 
       Well ok....Brownwood! It was great! I had so much fun and loved to see Anna, Taylor, Stephen again. I spent all day Sunday with Anna & it was awesome. We went to the so called mall, then to a place called Hastings which was pretty sweet, and then to Taco Bell and had a long deep talk. I thoroughly enjoyed every minute I was in Brownwood. Well I have one complaint but it is my fault. The bed was hard and I froze my butt off in the hotel room. I can't complain though because everything else made up for it. I went by and saw Stephen right before I left with my mother who so graciously went with me. He is an amazing person and I am so happy God gave us the chance to meet. Anna's family was great. They are incredibly sweet and they showed me what a small town is all about and made me love the experience all the more. About my mother and I, we had fun on the way and way back just hanging out. We went by random places on the way home today and it was great. We are both exhausted from all of it though.
 
      My life has been truly blessed and I never took the time to realize it. I have had a great youth minister and it is a shame that it has taken me this long to figure it out. He is a man of God that had truly touched many lives and I am so thankful that I got a chance to be a part of the youth group while He lead it. I wish I could say more but I have so much going through my head right now and am so tired that just ugh ya know? But to wrap this thing up. Chris Trent, we certainly have had our times where we did not agree in the slightest bit, but I have learned after being touched by God that over the years you have truly made an impact on me and I am ever so grateful to you for it. I love you and wish I would have realized earlier what you have done in my life.
 
     I'm out for today. It's been a long one and I need some sleep. G'night all!

hey every1! how ya'll doin? i'm great...i just love kids. I had to get that out. They are so adorable and I'm loving teaching them in vbs this week. I can't wait to go to Brownwood. It is going to be nice to see some of my camp people again. I miss them so much. I miss my super summer peoples too. The two guys that are near me are busy a lot. Well aaron has been outa town on mission trip but stephen is an awesome friend. God knows what he's doing when He puts people into family groups and things. God is soo good.
 
    Well that's about all I have to say for today. I love you guys.

I'm not getting along with blogger rite now because it just erased like a ton of writing but I'm ok.
 
   In short what I said was I had an amazing time at super summer. I met like four guys I wish I could marry them all because they are all what I want my husband to be like. I dedicated my life to full time Christian ministry. I learned so much. I can't wait to make a difference in any way I can. I just hope that you all can experience what I am. It is indescribable.
 
  Last but certainly not least I want to share my new life verse with you. I read it in my quiet time this morning. It is actually two verses but ya..... 1 Corinthians 10:31-32 ......read those and let me know what you think.

aw my camp groupies, gotta love 'em, i sure do 

NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! my Nash is gone from the mavericks! How could this happen? This is so not cool he was my favorite player. His beautiful long brown hair, his skill, awe why Nash? Just cuz they offer you 15 million more why? what about the fans that love you in Dallas? what about them? Do you not care? Do they not matter? They love you. i love you. you let us down. You traded us for phoenix? Who cares about them? Not us....Well except for the fact that you are now there. Even though you left me i'll still support you. i don't know who else will but i will. You are my Nash and even though you are a trader i'll be there to cheer you on.

So, life is moving along quite well must I say. I'm loving the fact that Alan & I are getting close again, & Kaiser and I are becoming better friends. Our little group is just awesome and it is always fun with them.
I am spending a lot more time with Amanda which I always love because she is one of my very best friends and nobody could ever replace her for anything. She inspires me sometimes to do things I normally would never do. She gives me hope in the times that I am lacking in faith. The light that she brings to my life makes me a better person for knowing her. I can't believe God has blessed me with a person like her. She is a one of a kind. I love you Amanda!!!
Well if I'm going to go off on 1 of my best friends, I must continue with the others because I wouldn't want to leave anyone out.
Alan, what is there to say about him. Well, so much in fact that I could go on for hours as well as I could have with Amanda but more so because he has always been my best guy friend in the world. Nothing could ever change how I feel about him and he is an incredible person. He is the only one that can truly make me happy even though I am in the worst mood. He is there for me even when we haven't exactly been close lately. He can always make me laugh. He knows what to say and when to say it. He is also an amazing blessing in my life. I love you Alan!!!
Christina, where do I start? She has been there with me since first grade and if we would have met before then I bet it would be longer. She has stuck with me through everything and many a time gone through the same thing at the same time. We have shared many a good time and bad. We have so many inside jokes that we can't even remember them all. We have our places where we only go with just us. We have our 'OCD' moments, and also our looking back moments. She has had an incredible impact on my life and has at times saved me from making huge mistakes. For all of this I love her and always will.

For now I am going to put this on hold because my back is hurting but I will continue at some time tomorrow. If I haven't said something to you yet just wait, I will. I just want everyone to know why I am doing this though. I love my friends and at no point in time do I truly tell them what I feel. I would never want something to happen and whoever not know. I love everyone that I know, but some of the people in my life, they truly are priceless.

Wow, that is about the only word I can use to describe my week at camp. It was just incredible and I don't really know how to describe it except that I met some amazing people that I can only pray that I can manage to keep in touch with. The pastor was great, my family group was greater than words, and God really spoke to me through it all. He truly showed me service through my family group leader Stephen and that showed me what I really need to be like. I can only pray that God will use me for him as he did Stephen. I even enjoyed rec. This year which probably surprises most of you. It was just a great week. I really hope we go back next year.

Well not much else to report but I am now single and might I add loving it. I am getting to get closer to Alan again which makes me happy. He's a great guy & I love him.

I'm out for the night though because camp was great but I'm tired now.

HAPPY DADDY'S DAY!!! to all you dads out there hope it's a great one for ya....yall guys are great and your children are truely touched by what you do.

So it's been awhile and a lot has happened and well one of those things is that me & rickey are ova. I won't go into details & all that because it's not that important but ya. It really ended today but kinda yesterday.
Anywayz, I leave for youth camp monday and can't wait. It should be awesome and I get to room with my manda so that iz going to be sweet. Well mission trip was great I had my moments but everyone does.
I'm loving life and plan on hanging out with more of my friends now that I'm a single woman. OK now whered I put the now serving sign for all the men waiting for me?...hmm lol yea right!
Well I'm off 2 bed 4 now but more to come so don't miss out. Luv yall