I can't sleep and I decided to make a post randomly. I don't know what it will be about but I have a lot going through my head at the moment I don't know if I could even type it all out before it jumps right back out.

My mind has been racing lately and not about anything in particular but just everything in general. I am kind of in awe of it. I just keep thinking about everything from school starting to friendships to who knows what else. I just will be sitting there and doing generally nothing and my mind will start thinking and probing the deepest thoughts of my mind. Like...

"Will I ever truly make the difference I pray to?"

or

"How can I be a senior in high school already, I'm not what it takes."

or

"Why is it that it seems that when I finally make a real connection with someone
[I don't want to say their name.], they check out of my life."

I just, I don't know if it is just the mood I am in right now, being tired or what but I just feel so out there. I feel as if I can't concentrate. And if I do, it is about something that if I keep thinking about it that it can in some way depress me. I do not know what is going on or what to think. I'm lost in my own head no matter how crazy that sounds. I feel as if I am right now. Crazy that is.

I hope I'm not scaring anyone who might be reading this but I do not try to hide myself. I tell it like I feel it. Whoever is happening to read this just pray for me because this is maybe the second or third night this has happened and it gets worse every night and I just pray that I can move on so that I can sleep soundly in preparation for school and what not.

It could just be a teenager thing but I don't know. I do know though that I have my senior year of high school coming up and to be truly honest I am scared. People, from what I know, go into their senior year with all this confidence in what they are going to do or who they are or what have you and I am over here and I just want to do God's will for my life and I don't know what that is. I am one of those people that likes to know where they are going, but I have no clue. I know I just need to keep Him first and that He will always be there for me, but I just know that there are things that I will be going back to and it is going to be some of the hardest times in my life because of all the things I have done in the past and what I will be tempted with. I have changed over the summer and by no means want to go back to where I was. It terrifies me just to think that I could end up there again. I don't want to even think about it. I just pray just God will give me the strength I need to make it through and to hear what He wants me to do when it comes to college and my future.

I ask of you, my friends, that you pray for me and others who might be going through these things:

• Life and its temptations might bring that it will not keep us down.
• Those who are in doubt of what their future might be when it comes to planning college.
• Those who will be going back to school changed and new and that they will be strong in the Lord our God.
• And lastly, that all who know Him shine His light that all my see His glory.

These are my thoughts and prayers. My dreams are that you may take them and change the world with what you may do with them. I am not my own. I am God's, and He has spoken through me.